by (Livin' La Vida) Mocha
“Murr Purrrrrrr”
English Translation:
I really love those Pets.com TV commercials
with that hunky Sockpuppet. Here’s a cute little
interview with him that my owner saw in Entertainment
Weekly:
Talk To The Hand:
Ten Stupid Questions for the Pets.com Sockpuppet
1. Are you a purebred? I’m very mixed.
I’m part Jack Russeell, part Labrador, part tube
sock, part argyle, and a little bit Lithuanian.
2. Is it true you were snubbed by the Westminster dog
show? “Snubbed” is a strong word. I did not
receive an invitation. I would like for the AKC to
recognize the duppet -- dog-puppet -- as a legitimate
breed.
3. You duetted with Kathie Lee... I wonder if that had
anything to do with her leaving.
4. Anything going on there? Kathie and I are just
friends. I have a very serious girlfriend.
5. Related question: Are you fixed? Let me just answer
you in this way: I am all puppet.
6. Suppose the Muppets start talking trash to you. The
Muppets and I are close. They’re hip, I’m hip.
They know where it’s at, I know where it’s at.
But it would depend on who. If it’s Animal, I’d
just run away. He’s scary.
7. Are you a party animal? I’m domesticated.
8. So you’d never cruise for female dogs with, say,
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Taco Bell’s
Chihuahua? Well, you know those frogs that sell beer? I
was hanging out with the one that goes “Weis”.
We went down to the Super Bowl and had a crazy time.
9. How does one achieve the Sockpuppet look? Two words of
advice: fabric softener.
10. What about this guy who’s always with you,
Michael Black? He was funny on Comedy Central’s
“Viva Variety” and MTV’s “The
Slate”. He was my right-hand man. But celebrity
changes things. He started taking all the credit, and we
had a falling out. I had to take out a restraining order.
He’s no longer allowed within an arm’s length.
But he’s a terrific talent. And grossly underpaid.
the Midwest is
still cold.
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